Wrestlin' with Mania.

     Bipolar disorder, formerly known as manic-depression, proves tricky to decribe at least from a personal perspective, and I have spent considerable time thinking about how would be best to go about doing so here. The first thing, amongst many that is important to understand, is that Bipolar disorder, is a mood disorder with Bipolar I (with which I have been diagnosed) being defined as having at least one period of full-blown mania either preceded or followed by a period of clinical depression. This brings us to our first key term: mania.

     It seems that most people, whether they have suffered from clinical depression or not, have a pretty decent handle on what it means, and thusly they understand the "depressive" side to the manic-depressive binary. From a textbook perspective it is defined as a prolonged, persistent, and seemingly unshakeable period of sadness. In depressive phases life becomes not just a bore but a chore as well. When I am depressed, sleep becomes excessive and staying awake for a even handful of hours at a time becomes an accomplishment.

     Mania, or the other hand, was completely foreign to me before I had any experience with it (so for the purpose of informing, I'll assume that it is equally so to the reading public). As far as I was concerned, the only mania that mattered was Wrestlemania, the World Wrestling Entertainment's, annual, flagship event. For the sake of consistency and reference I will begin to descirbe mania, and my experience with it, based on clinically standard definitions of the term. For starters, it is important to note that if you are suffering from mania, you are deemed what is called, "manic"or in the midst a "manic episode (or episode in short)." Mania is typically described and based on the following italicized criteria (source: www.counsellingresrouces.com ; N.B.: my notes or the criteria are in regular type face):

A. A distinct period of abnormally and persistently elevated, expansive, or irritable mood, lasting at least 1 week (or any duration if hospitalization is necessary).

Typically, I am as reserved as they come; an introvert's introvert if you will. When manic however, and severely elevated, whatever shell in which I typically find myself is lost as are any filters. I not only talk to anyone about anything, but feel the pressing need to do so. At the same time, this extreme talkativeness can be mixed with a highly sensitive irritability. I can remember countless times where anyone from parents, to police, to friends, and even my therapist rubbed me the wrong way and caught my manic wrath.

B. During the period of mood disturbance, three (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted (four if the mood is only irritable) and have been present to a significant degree:

1. inflated self-esteem or grandiosity. Depending on the severity of the episode, at the very least my confidence and belief in myself runs from extremely high to grandiose. I believe anything I put my mind to can be accomplished by sheer will, no mater how preposterous it may be. At one point during my first manic episode I believed that a simple letter to Bush (who was presiding at the time), would have him step down as I took my rightful place as leader of the free-world). Schemes to get rich quickly, successful, or blast meteroically to (inter)national prominence have not been uncommon for me.
2. decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep) Sleep? What sleep? While depressive phases are marked by periods of excessive sleep bordering on diurnal hiberation, when manic I need little, if any sleep... for days a time. Fatigue becomes foreign, and I am utterly motivated to accomplish whatever fleeting goal has crossed my mind.
3. more talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking. My mind is moving at a million miles a minute, and is so expressed in my pressured speech.
4. flight of ideas, or subjective experience that thoughts are racing. Information is percolating in and seemingly evacuating my brain, and it must be verbalized to release pressure from within. While in extreme episodes of mania, there is seemingly much non-sensical, desultory rambling, but it all makes perfect sense to me at the time. In less extreme cases, facility with the spoken word becomes notably increased. Original jokes (usually crass or inappropriate) are borne without effort, and a certain verbalized lexical fluidity expressed in alliteration or even rhyme becomes possible.
5. distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli). This criterion is related to the preceding one. While thoughts race at neuron-popping speed, there is a fleet of thought that occurs.
6. increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation While this may seem oppositional to the aforementioned fleet of thought, while manic it is not uncommon for me to be consumed with grand(iose) goals of some sort that are pursued of unbound and seemingly infinite energy (e.g., I once attempted to clean the house from top to bottom, meticulously of course. Anyone who has seen my house, knows this is quite the impossible undertaking and is an exercise in futility at best.) I do not, however, have experience with the second symptom (psychmotor agitation).
7. excessive involvement in pleasurable activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments) Of the given examples, the spending spree is the one with which I am familiar. After "coming to" so to speak from my second manic episode I found myself in massive credit card debt, after being relatively financially sound to that point (that's if you do not include the Porsche I thought was a sound investment during the beginning stages of my first episode).

(source: www.counselingresource.com)

N.B. : Please excuse the reliance on and reference to clinical criteria above, but I felt it may be helpful to have an objective starting point of sorts. Future posts concerning my experiences with mania will have more of a personal, narrative leaning.