The Four C's (of Wife-Finding)

Just like there are the our "C"’s of diamond buying (color, cut, clarity, and carat for those of you who may be unfamiliar), I decided to come up with my four "C"’s of wife-finding. After stepping up the wardrobe as detailed in an earlier post, the ladies seemed to have taken notice, and I’m not talking just any women here, I’m talking cute ones, the ones worth writing home (and to y’all about). Though the "C"’s I had in mind were not based on phenotype, the operative word in the preceding sentence, "cute", may be a good place, albeit perhaps a shallow one to start, as its fresh in my head. 

Cute – Honestly, I’d prefer cute to hot any day, the simple reason being that with your typical hot girl, comes typical hot girl ego, which requires typical hot girl ego maintenance on her partner’s part. Sorry, I’m not the one and have zero patience for the nonsense. In fact, I’ll take it a step further and say, if caught on the wrong day, I’d just as soon wipe my ass with a pretty girl’s ego as I would stroke it (assuming there was just provocation of course). Besides, chances are the girl next door, knows where your bedroom is, if she hasn't been in it already. (Disclaimer - Let's be real. We are well-dressed social animals with naturally borne impulses, many of which are sexual. Said impulses rely on a modicum of attraction along any of several dimensions - the most pressing and salient of mine are listed below. As it regards the physical however, let's not pretend that there's hasn't got to be at least something to spark the initial interest)

Character – While I’m certainly not looking for nor expecting a saint, finding someone who a sense of integrity, dignity, and self-respect, and a demonstrated ability to keep her thought, word, and deed in alignment is simply a non-negotiable. Even if she’s somewhere closer to the sinner side, if she hasn’t rectified and reconciled with her past  and shown the ability to handle her scandal, then I can’t do nada for her. To borrow from Denzel in training day, you’ve got to have at least some dirt on ya to make the cut. If you're frontin' like you're an angel to protect some virginal notion of desirability you can save the lies some for someone whose sucka-hood will permit it. 

Love and its ever-present counterpart loyalty are found under this umbrella for the intents of this rubric as well. While it’s difficult to test and/or gauge the depths of someone’s love, I’ve gotta be able to feel it, and in terms of the love/loyalty bar, it’s been set very high by those to whom I’ve entrusted my love. For the sake of others' privacy, I'll save some wild examples, but lets' just say, I’ve seen girls go to hell multiple times with gasoline draws on for the kid. These days, I don’t find myself needing discernible proof that my partner would do anything as it only spoke of my own insecurities. I’ll spare the next one all that trouble since I’m all about self-possession these days. I will have the next one know however, that I was raised relationship-wise, off of hood love, a good love, and if a woman is not bringing the former or at the very least a form of the latter, she'll be detected and dismissed immediately. 

Compatibility – If she’s going left when I’m going right, then it just won’t work, and certain things like such misdirection can be sniffed out from jumpstreet. If she’s going down while I’m going down, then hey, we can travel many a mile down route 69 together. Bad sexual innuendos aside, compatibility in terms of our goals, values, and expectations of each other, ourselves, and the relationship must be discussed prior to anything serious happening. In terms of conversation, without a sense of humor, witty repartee, and a love for all things topical, ranging from colorful ghetto humor to critical Gramscian insight, we might as well save each other’s time.

Cool –With everyone from adolescents to academics musing over its meaning, it’s certainly a tricky one to pin down denotatively. To me this one is a lot like that old definition of Porn. You’re not sure how to define it, but you know it when you see it, or in this case, sense it. Sqaure bears and Miss Prissy USA candidates need not apply. Loudmouth extroverts can also see themselves to the door. In fact, anyone without the proper energy, can exit stage left.