My therapist, Scott, and I were talking about the
trail of fissured, fractured, and some altogether broken relationships that
have been left in my trail of relational glory. He essentially said that at
this particular time, I lack the interpersonal skillset to repair them. While
he may very well be right, he continued to point out that the aim of
reconciliation is not to annihilate the other party with the cogency of your
argument, but instead to express understanding, concern, and curiosity for
their position.
After hearing him implore me to be more empathetic,
I then countered by saying that the reason their positions are so easily
dismantled summarily dismissed, is because I have, in fact, taken the time, to
imagine their perspective and made every earnest effort to see things through
their lens.
Though all or nothing thinking presents itself as
one of my favorite cognitive missteps and rhetorical ferocity a latent passion
of mine (given enough time to analyze the situation) assuming the blame,
apologizing, and then asking for forgiveness when it can be all but proven that
I’m that offended/defensive party, seems to be asking for a lot given this
particular juncture in my interpersonal journey. In fact, it seems a bit
absurd, so until further notice, I will heed Scott’s conciliatory admonishment,
that some people and relationships are simply toxic and warrant distance over
the disrespect and disregard that’s been heretofore offered with the utmost consistency.
In essence, arguing with fools, let alone
apologizing to them for their intelligence deficit, ignorance surplus, if
nothing else, reminds me, not to engage in battles of wit with the unarmed. It’s
an exercise in futility and frustration, both of which I am best served
without.
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