The More Things Change

In a nutshell, the four months since my last post have seen more of the same common denominator that has marred my life since my diagnosis: instability.

In the interest of time and energy, both of which are lacking as of the moment, I'll summarize with bullet points.

- Somehow, amidst the excitement of the birthday (in April), the tax refund from a year of slaving at Whole Foods, and my acceptance into the MSW program at the dear old alma mater, USC, I became manic.

- I then proceeded to lose my apartment and my car along with my sanity and stability that had been built up over the preceding year.

- Found myself broke as a joke, making less than a hundred dollars a week over the summer of 2014, while at the shelter again. I held on for as long as possible, and decided to venture out to LA, to give grad school one last attempt in earnest, knowing the odds were stacked against me.

- The daunting odds of going 0-60, on the proverbial scale of functioning, were indeed insurmountable.

- Withdrew from the MSW program less than two weeks into the program, and used the loan money to sustain and enjoy myself during my stay in Southern California. One month of this time was spent was a lovely and inviting Salvadorean family, and the second month was spent was my homeboy Terrie. Not having a sustainable source of pharmaceuticals, I self medicated with the finest medicinal mary jane, alcohol, nicotine, and the occasional Xanax, to induce some of the best sleep I've had in a while.

- Caught a cross country Greyhound back to Boston, not knowing where I would stay. Ended up crashing for two nights at the legally uninhabitable family property in Cape Cod, then in a motel 6, before finding myself back at the shelter.

- Linked up with my therapist and prescriber (and a new social worker, who thankfully is easy on the eyes), and began work at Target, as my sizable loan refund check had basically been squandered over the course of three months or so.

So here I am, riding the Manic-Depressive rollercoaster (currently working my way from the depths of depressive darkeness), in a situation eerily similar to that which I found myself two years ago at this point.