"I'm just sayin'..."

George Carlin’s comedy and the brilliance that lies there in is a gift to be treasured. The genius to be considered (he veritably predicted 9/11 in his “You are all Diseased,” special) evinces the intricate workings of a gifted communicator.  As someone who appreciates language(s), whether foreign or native, with an especial proclivity for etymology (word history, roots, history—yes, my love of Latin still runs strong) Carlin’s insight into the relationship between the minutiae of our daily language and its relationship to the assumed, unquestioned behavior that succeeds it never ceases to amaze. 

If you are a regular reader, you have probably observed that sayings, quotes, idioms, adages, etc., and references to them are in no short supply. Briefly attempting to psychologize my love for timeless wisdom, leaves me thinking that perhaps, they represent time-tested landmarks that help navigate life’s uncharted territory. As signposts, if you will, two in particular had me thinking .

Allow me to set this thought up it you will. 

My mentor also taught me that ideally, “Thought, word, and deed,” should be in alignment. That is what you think, should be what you say, and in in turn what you say (should you choose to say anything) should be what you do.”

This struck me as profound as soon as it was shared with me. Imagine an equilateral triangle with each of these words, “thought, word, and deed,” at each of the vertices. Now imagine directional arrows going both ways between each vertex. Yea, here’s where technical competence would come in handy, but hopefully your imagination and my description conveyed the image that had been described to me as representing this concept visually.

Inconsistencies, contradictions, and hypocrisy stand out to me in others, and of course in myself. Unresolved they have become sources of confusion, frustration, irritation, and in extreme cases accelerants (if not causes of) instability. Perhaps now more than ever, I have become attuned to my own desired (and in some cases demanded as I seek to cultivate discipline) unanimity between thought, word, and deed/ Perhaps this is also why I have become sensitive to the dissonance and disagreement in others’ thought word and deed. If they are in my circle, as shrinking as the immediate, inner one can be, a lack of explanation of or accountability for this discord and disconnect, can be troubling. 

Ok that setup turned into an aside, but here’s what I was gonna write earlier.

The oft-used phrase, “I can’t wait,” is a funny one to me. Whether it’s a presumably positive experience which someone would be expected to anticipate (e.g., a birthday party, family reunion, etc.) or one signaling the end of a negative experience (to clock out of, or quit work, for instance), whatever the case may be, the point is, people, often can and do wait. They’ll check their obsessively waiting for proper time to celebrate whatever festive date/occasion they have circled on their calendar. 

This was on my mind, because my cousin, whom I have only come to know within the last year, planned a reunion for the week after thanksgiving. Cool, I thought, consider me there, was my reaction as soon as I heard the news. However, despite being recently introduced, she has proven herself to be my kinda cousin. Besides being incredibly empathetic, self-aware, loyal, and loving, she knows how to make shit happen. Instead of waiting twiddling her thumbs until the planned reunion, she came to visit this past week.

That said, it seems that acknowledging and embracing agency (the ability to make things happen - it’s a formal term in academic circles, one taught to me by my dear mentor from USC) seems to be a recurring subtext of many of the writings here to date. 

Stewie Griffin of Family Guy so poignantly reminded me of this gem: “the person who thinks he can and the person who thinks he can’t are both right.”

We’ve all heard the term, “product of such and such environment.” This can be problematic in relation to agency as it implies a certain passiveness. Why not make your environment a product of you?

Considering giving into self-pity and victimhood ? Well if so, you may be looking for some sympathy on your journey. Allow me to share Ras Kass’ ( my favorite rapper of all time) take on the subject: “If you’re looking for sympathy, look between ‘R’ and ‘T’ in the fucking dictionary.”  (from the Xzibit, song “3 Card Molly)

I have digressed per usual, however, but per usual there’s an explanation. It’s been a while since my last post, and time to write amongst my other activities has been slim. Hence there’s much to be said during this mindspill if you will. Anywho, another saying that can be funny, is “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”

As someone who has become increasingly focused on and mindful of the present and also been exposed to any number of thought patterns labeled cognitively distorted by Western psychotherapy models, this saying leapt out at me for some reason as reeking of “fortune-telling.”

If you don’t know what a cognitive distortion is in general or what, “fortune-telling” is in particular in this context, fear not, your boy is here. 

If rhetoric/argument is your thing, a cognitive distortion can almost be thought of as a logical fallacy. Basically a flawed way of thinking. While this is certainly debatable, the particular distortion known as, “fortune-telling” says that you should not trouble yourself over future concerns, because you simply do not know, unless you are adept at fortune-telling (hence the name), what it holds. 

Get it? Hope so. So yea, “cross that bridge when we come to it.” While on some levels it suggests a mindfulness of the present and attentiveness to it, it also, in and of itself is inherently concerned with the future.

If you have not, “come to it,” how do you even know that , “it” is a bridge? How do you know it’s not a meadow, a house, an abyss, or seeming impasse? Furthermore even if it is a bridge, how do you know you’ll cross it?

Ok, this just crossed my mind, speaking of bridges. The phrase, “don’t burn bridges,” can be (and has been in my life) countered by this one, “Let the fire from bridges burned, light the way forth.”