Attempting to Articulate Mania (part three of three)

In retrospect, while riding the three major manic waves, I must have been passively (and sometimes actively) suicidal, and can remember telling one of my old shrinks that if I were to somehow, someway get hit by a bus while crossing the street or at the train tracks while scouring the ground for half smoked cigarettes, I wouldn’t have minded in the least.  I once confessed to my prescriber in Berkeley, having just watched the Godfather for the first time, that mob affiliate, Frank Patangeli’s death seemed a decent way to go out (SPOILER ALERT for those who somehow may have this Coppola’s magnum opus) Though his suicide was not pictured, it can be inferred that he slit his wrists in a cold bath, presumably with some alcohol in the bloodstream to ease the pain and accelerate the exsanguination).

Again, flashback to the summer of 2007. Something told me doing a barrel roll over the bushes that crept up against the guard rail of the 405 was a good idea. I walked in the breakdown lane of the freeway for a few miles (with traffic of course, so I wouldn’t have seen it coming), took an exit, and somehow ended up in the back of a police cruiser again for eh "acting strangely." One of many 5150's (the CA code for a three day involuntary psychiatric hold) that would turn into 5250's (the CA code for a three day involuntary hold that is extended to two weeks) during that magical summer.