One thing I’ve trained myself to do, is to cultivate an
attitude of gratitude as my positive psychology professor at Berkeley used to say. He taught a class
called, “Human Happiness,” and its dividends are still being paid, especially as
it regards being mindful of thankfulness.
Two songs I listen to first before I get into my zone are 1)
William DeVaugn’s “Be Thankful for What you Got and 2) Nas and Damian Marley’s,
“Count Your Blessings”)
After those two are played, it’s anybody’s call as to what comes
next, but it’s as important to realize what you’ve come through and where you’ve
come to, as it is to know where you’re going (should planning be your thing, if
not it’s cool, too, for as they say, “Not all who wander are lost.”
I was just saying to my shrink, Francis, yesterday, how I’ve
come to respect and appreciate the process that is progress, and though change
by incremental extension took some getting used to, little by little, it’s
important to know that as long I’m moving in the right direction, then it’s all
good. Life will be there tomorrow, so what’s the rush?
I ended the session by saying, “I’m only concerned with
pleasing myself these days,” which for someone who in the past has tried to be a
lot of things to a lot of people was not a self-congratulatory nod to the guy
in the mirror nor a hedonistic green light, but a shirking of baggage that used
to weigh me down something serious.
Dispensing advice or dropping jewels on those who don’t want
to or simply aren’t able to receive them can itself be an exercise in
frustration. All of the tools, information, and know how, to do whatever you
may be able to conceive are at your immediate disposal via the wonders of the
internet. Though if you prefer the old school, personal connection, as I do,
mine your network to increase your net worth, in whichever terms you see worth
as having value (i.e., not necessarily financial).
After a good talk with the homie Sean yesterday, he
reinforced this notion of mindful and what is to be gained simply by reaching out.
This situation in the shelter (which in and of itself is a stigmatized term
with some resounding connotations to the negative – besides technically it’s a
lodge, and feels more like a halfway house) is a speed bump through which I’m
staying focused and positive. In a few months, I will have saved up enough
money for a room or even more preferably an efficiency studio. For the time
being, I’m loving the camaraderie, company, and conversation of the fellas
there. Though some could be doing better, just to give you an idea of the
clientele, I’ve seen a laptop, an iphone, and people getting suited and booted
to start there day like anyone else.
As I was telling my homegirl, Nicole, this place is a five
star resort compared to the shelter shelter where I stayed for a couple of
nights in the hood. It was just row after row of cots occupied by gentlemen who
had been shot (in fact one guy was sharing war stories in the waiting room
[read:outside on the bench], down, and super out (of it). It was actually inside
of a barren, church with pews cleared out. It was bare bones and required a 20
minute walk through the hood just to arrive, (Not to mention the four dollars
each way + hour commute on the bus and train just to get there – and all this
is not to say that I ain’t appreciate the hell of out it, the two nights I crashed
there, but to say that the place I’m at now is a palace by comparison.
We’re talking, washing machine, Coke machine, showers, cable,
food from local restaurants brought in the semi-regular, as was as spacious cubbies,
that for someone was a a few back packs worth of stuff (that can all go
tomorrow for all I care), has proven to be more than sufficient.
Needless to say, I’m thankful and count my blessings daily.
No comments:
Post a Comment