On second thought...

On second thought, the feelings expressed in the, “I miss her” post, may not have been totally indicative of and consistent with where I am now Though losing her was the most difficult thing I’ve had to deal with, that once gaping wound to the heart, has closed up. I’m scarred up but still going, and am more removed from those sentiments than ever before. I’m not quite sure what prompted that post; I might have been feeling nostalgic or may have simply wanted to remind myself of the perks that relationships have to offer. It’s been so long that I’ve been doing me, that it’s quite hard to entertain the thought of making room for someone as things stand now. Where would they fit in? What purpose would they serve? The long-term goal of most hetero-normative arrangements is marriage and children. I hardly feel suited for the former, and the jury’s still out on the latter. The immeasurable responsibility that comes with child-rearing doesn’t scare me as much as procreating with the wrong woman does. Having to deal with any type of drama at this point, let alone that of the baby mama variety, is exactly what I’m trying to avoid. Things are stable, food is on the table, my mind is sound, and my body is able. Let’s keep it that way.